Saturday, June 24, 2006

mojo?

So if you are one of the 10s of people wondering where mojo went: fear not, it isn't gone. I made it to the doubleheader against Texas, and realized I needed a little sabbatical. A fine gentleman going by the name Looies Windup decided to assume the Mojo Mantle in the interim, and I'll be damned if he didn't kick off an 8-game win streak. Not one to mess with a good thing, he's been doing it ever since.

So it still exists, and can be found in the daily gamethreads found on redsoxnation.net. It will return here when Mojo is good and ready.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

*MOJO* - BOS vs TEX - Pee Wee's Playhouse Day 3

(remember kids, the word of the day is "strikeout")

Hey' who's that at the door?



Why, it's our old friend Cowboy Curtis! He's here to... wait a minute? You look awfully familiar, Cowboy Curtis. Holy crap, it's Lawrence Fishburne! Did you really get a start out doing this?



Wow, I guess getting your first start isn't that big of a deal. You can go out do just about anything, and have a great career. Well, that bodes well for Jon Lester, making his MLB debut today. Don't worry about those butterflies Jon, if Cowboy Curtis can become Morpheus, than this start is just a small first step to a great career. Enjoy your first start in the show, and if some Texas batter gives you some lip, we all know you have the stuff to set him down with the strikeout.



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Friday, June 09, 2006

*MOJO* - BOS vs TEX - Pee Wee's Playhouse Day 2

(Remember kids, the word of the day is "belly")

The Red Sox get to play their first of 4 games in 3 days against the Texas Rangers, with Tim Wakefield taking the mound. With the offense seemingly to start to put it together against the Yankees last night, I sure wish that things can continue against Vincente Padilla.

"Did somebody say wish?"



"Your wish is my command!"

[dazzling special effects]

Wow, thanks Jambi! No there is now way the Sox can lose. I can't wait to see Wakefield take the mound with the team and everyone's favorite back up catcher, Dougie Mirabelli... "belli?"



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(close enough!)

Thursday, June 08, 2006

*MOJO* - BOS @ NYY - Pee Wee's Playhouse Day 1

(remember kids, the Secret Word of the Day is "win")

With the fantastic news that Pee Wee's Playhouse will be returning to TV on Adult Swim, Pee Wee and friends will be lending a hand with mojo.

Taking the mound tonight will be Curt Schilling, a workhourse in the rotation who cranks out quality starts like a machine. Which is why the seemingly automatic Mr. Schilling will be getting a hand today from everyone's favorite robot: Conky!



Nothing quite like a little robot fun to help Curt Schilling and the Red Sox to a much needed win.



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

*MOJO* - BOS @ NYY - Vince Vaughn Day 1

Vince Vaughn: so hot right now. It is that can't miss aura that the Red Sox need to regain. Vince Vaughn starred in a critically slammed romantic comedy with Jennifer Aniston (who has struggled to find a box office hit), it debuted at number 1. The man simply makes winners.

And to start it off, sometimes all it takes is a quote from the movie that launched his career, tailor made for David Pauley making his second start tonight:

"You are so money and you don't even know it."

Monday, June 05, 2006

*MOJO* - BOS @ NYY - Egyptology Day 2

The rivalry once again resumes as the Red Sox roll in to Gotham to take on the Yankees. The two teams have been neck and neck over the past couple of weeks as they battle for first place, and this 4 game set could swing the balance of power in either direction.

The Red Sox need to assert their authority in the American League East, and nothing does the job of showing who's the ruling class like gigantic stone monuments.



The Pyramids of Giza are not only monuments to long passed pharoahs, but also the pillars of winning baseball. The Pyramid of Khufu (or Great Pyramid) is for pitching, the Pyramid of Khafre is for hitting, and the third of the main pyramids, the Pyramid of Menkaure is for fielding. And while these make up the centerpiece of the complex, there are many more smaller structures that complete the site. The smaller monuments are for other essential components of Red Sox baseball: baserunning, man-hugs, applesauce, clutch home runs, and of course, the monument to their ever-growing fan base. Not to mention the Great Sphinx, whose origin and subject are still shrouded in mystery. No one is really sure what the Sphinx is in tribute to. Some say that's just the Sphinx being Manny.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

*MOJO* - BOS @ DET - Egyptology Day 1



As the Red Sox look to close out the series in Detroit with a victory against the rookie Zach Miner, we pray to Osiris, God of the Underworld. We offer up our prayers, service, and this case of Sam Adams Black Lager in the hopes that he might release Matt Clement's season in the hopes it can return from the dead. We know that it still has much to offer, and would like to give it another chance.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

*MOJO* - BOS @ DET - Welcome Day 3

Little known fact about Tim Wakefield: he likes musicals. And in Detroit, he wishes the Tigers hitters a hearty Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome! to his trademark knuckleball. He invites you to stay and rest in the batter's box for the show, on your round trip journey form the dugout.

Red Sox fans, leave your troubles outside. For in Red Sox Nation, life is beautiful, the team is beautiful, even Julian Tavarez is beautiful! So sit back, relax , and enjoy the show.

Friday, June 02, 2006

*MOJO* - BOS @ DET - Welcome Day 2

I'd like to take a little time to offer up some thanks:

Thank you to Ortiz and Manny for driving the offense.

Thank you to Demarlo Hale for making me forget we have a Third Base Coach most games.

Thank you to Papelbon and Foulke for being so strong in the late innings.

Thank you to the entire infield for doing so well on the defensive side of the ball.

And a big thank you to Curt Schilling, for not only returning to form, but seeing as mojo is currently at risk of being sidelined by a foot injury, for performing even when you are hurt.



Now, remember what your mothers taught you and be polite, and don't forget to say "You're Welcome". Or at least show it with another win.