Saturday, April 29, 2006

*MOJO* - BOS @ TB - Saved By the Bell Day 1

In an attempt to revitalize mojo (2 for it's last 8), tonight's mojo comes courtesy of the lovely Piney.

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I'm your substitute teacher for today, filling in for NU who is out being mad busy, and in a bit of a mojo slump himself, so I have filled in today to help try and bring this team back on the road. So open up those Trapper Keepers, take out your number two pencils, and let's start up with the mojo....

When you wake up in the morning and the clock lets out a warning I don't think I'll ever make it on time. By the time I got my books, I give myself a look I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by

Yep, boys and girls, it's alright because we got some Saved By the Bell mojo headed straight up your way!

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Saved By the Bell, as we all know, is an 80's sitcom that was on NBC on Saturday mornings. I think we basically all know about it, the 80's corniness, the spandex, the ridiculously genius plotlines. I think we all have the "Jessie Takes Caffiene Pills" episode memorized by heart somehow, but anyways, onto the mojo...

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Today's character is the ultra-suave "What? Me Worry?" Zack Morris. He's always got a plan and he's always laid back and just let things happen. He's not exactly known as the best of students at first, but as time went on, he showed himself to be quiet the student, actually. He never worried, and never seemed to take things too seriously, which in this game of baseball is a great quality to have. In other words, if Zack Morris was a big Dominican man, he would be David Ortiz.

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Now I call upon David Ortiz to channel his inner Zack Morris and hone his clutchibility and reinstate the fear of God in the Devil Rays pitchers. Hopefully, like Morris in his many predicaments that he's gotten himself into, he learns from his struggles in the past few days and adjusts well. Actually, I call upon the entire offense to just relax, stop worrying, and hit the goddamn ball. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and stop thinking...sometimes not thinking too hard at the plate can produce some beautiful results.

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So boys and girls, the lesson plan for today is to just kick back, relax, and focus. Be like Zack Morris, and things will be alright. Why? Because you're Saved By the Bell. And if not then, mehh what the hell are you doing taking advice from an 80's show anyway?!

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