Friday, April 07, 2006

*MOJO* - BOS @ BAL - Winter Wonderland Day 2

The frosty fun seemed to catch on in Texas, and now the team gets to take to the frozen slopes of... Maryland? Well, never say that the Red Sox aren't up for a challenge, and it will take more than physics to stop the downward fun of X-Treme Snowboarding!

It's off to Baltimore for another visit with the perennial thorns in the Red Sox' side: the Baltimore Orioles. But it will take some tubular moves and the stomping of some mondo tricks to overcome the birds tonight. If you are looking for the two dopest playas with the narliest tricks, look no further than the human lineup, David Ortiz, and tonight's starter Matt Clement.

David Ortiz is master of the big air, and if you want to wow people with your hangtime, Big Papi is the player to watch. After all, who else models their swing after a half pipe?

While Matt Clement may not have the "flava" of Ortiz, that's not his specialty. Clement is more of a downhill boarder, especially when it comes to the slalom.

It's the sweeping arcs cutting through the snow that Clement likes. Because its his cutter and filthy slider that slash left and right across the zone to cut down hitters.

The powder is fresh and the runs are clean, it's time to shred up some posers on the way to another win... to the Max!

And to continue to help get you acquainted with the new faces on the roster, here are some totally true factoids about the new starting second baseman, Mark Loretta.

- Late in 2003, while with the San Diego, Loretta was running late to the game at the ballpark. While rushing out the door, he was unable to find his clothes for the day, and in his haste he accidentally grabbed his wife's underwear. Defeated, he wore the panties, and ended up having a career day. He has worn silk panties under his uniform every day since out of superstition, and even got some of his teammates to participate the following summer, earning them the short lived nickname "The Pantied Padres".

- Loretta enjoys chewing up lengths of chain and spitting out the remnants as bullets. Not to prove he is a manly man, but just because he likes the taste of iron more than tobacco. He has been quoted as saying that if they made a rust flavored Big League Chew, he'd rather eat that as it is easier on his jaw.

- While playing the field, Loretta once made a ground ball pivot 125 degrees to the right and straight to the first baseman for a force out simply by yelling at it.

- Mark Loretta has a tattoo on his chest of a Norse warrior wielding a giant stone hammer while riding a dragon. Below it is a banner with "Onward to Valhalla" written backwards. Every morning, he does squat thrusts in front of a mirror, and uses the image as his daily motivation to pursue greatness through the Viking spirit.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home