Sunday, July 31, 2005

**MOJO** - Sandwich Day 5

Sunday marks the Red Sox debut of Jon Papelbon in another day game. With the bright and early arrival time at the park, the rookie may be looking to start his day with something in his stomach (to quiet the butterflies of course). And I think I know just the thing:



Nothing makes a morning better than egg and cheese. When you need a quick pick me up to start your day, breakfast sandwiches always seem to hit the spot. And just like you want to start your day off right, so too does Jon Papelbon want to start his career off right.

If you want to participate from home in today's mojo, order yourself up your favorite breakfast sandwich, whether it is a simple egg and cheese on an english muffin, or if you prefer it with meat on a bagel, or if you like having a "Croissan'wich" in the morning, if only to spite the French. Bonus points for you if rsn.net's own Piney makes it for you.

Friday, July 29, 2005

**MOJO** - Sandwich Day 4

The weather has been hot lately, and whenever the temperature rises, there is only one sandwich that satisfies:



Mmmmm, it's Ice Cream Sandwich mojo. Nothing is better on a hot July day than a cool ice cream sandwich. I think Ortiz and Manny would certainly appreciate them right now, they might help cool off that hot stove rumor mill that's been swirling of late. I know David Wells would like one, after all, he can deep fry it for a fried ice cream sandwich (and if you haven't figured out that David Wells deep-frying things is my new favorite running gag, you need to pay closer attention).



If you would like to participate from home with today's mojo, head to your local grocer's freezer and pick up a box of ice cream sandwiches and chow down. Maybe if you are lucky, you'll here the jingle and the ice cream sandwiches will come to you.

**MOJO** - Sandwich Day 3

Pennsylvania's own Wade Miller gets the start at home today. Growing up, Wade would just be a short drive away from Philadelphia, and if Southwest Airlines has taught me anything, there is a reason everyone should go to Philly: cheese steak, cheese steak, cheese steak.



Some people prefer Pat's, others prefer Gino's, but one thing is for sure: a cheese steak is one good sandwich. While the basic elements are simple, there are a lot of variety that comes with cheese steaks. Many prefer the taste of cheeze whiz on theirs. I myself prefer provolone, with green peppers and ketchup. While these variations are common, from your basic steak and cheese to your loaded steak bombs, they all have one thing in common: they are heavy, greasy, and very very good.

So like the gut busting, diet killing cheese steak (eat it without the bun for Atkins Approval!), the Red Sox need to cut loose and live a little. Enjoy the game, because you only get to play it once. The cheese steak may be bad for you in the long run, but if it makes you happy in the short term karma will take care of you. Sure swinging at the first pitch is a bad thing, but if you make sure you turn that first pitch into a double off the wall, everyone will look the other way.

The only person to be wary of the cheese steak is Wade Miller. He can still have one by all means, but he must be sure not to eat it too fast and get a stomach ache. That's why he has to take small bites. Nibble at the corners if you will. Miller has great stuff, he just needs to place it well, so being sure not to catch too much of the plate in one bite will be the key to victory.

If you would like to participate from home in today's mojo, down a big greasy cheese steak from your sub shop of choice. Mine is Cappy's on Westland Ave in Boston, or Romano's on Main St. in Salem, NH. Your heart may be mad at you later for all that grease, but the Red Sox will thank you now, and isn't that what's important?

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

**MOJO** - Sandwich Day 2

The Sox sure have been needing something a little "extra" in this series against the D-Rays. And nothing says "extras" like a mouth watering Dagwood.


Dagwood sandwiches are named for Dagwood Bumstead, the lovable everyman with the unreasonable attractive for a newspaper cartoon wife Blondie. Dagwood has a penchant for making rather extravagant sandwiches, and his creations have become nearly legendary. It's no wonder he is so fond of naps, as just one of his sandwiches would put anyone into a deep food coma.

But what is in a dagwood you ask? Well, recipes may vary.


With games running so long lately, it is only natural that the Sox need a little something extra that only a dagwood could provide. What's nice about the dagwood, as well, is that you aren't bound by traditional ingredients, and can make it however you may want. Big Papi could add some spice for flavor, Millar can add Jack Daniels sauce, Youkilis and Kapler can hold the ham, and David Wells can deep fry the whole thing and coat it in powdered sugar.

Just remember, the bigger the sandwich the better:


If you would like to participate in today's mojo from home, raid your fridge for a Dagwood of your own. Feel free to post your own interpretations of what makes your dagwood perfect for you. I myself like extra pickles and spicy brown/deli mustard instead of mayonnaise or traditional yellow.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

**MOJO** - Sandwich Day 1



Sometimes the greatest ideas come from the simplest of origins. John Mantagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich, simply wanted a tasty meal that he could eat without interrupting his gambling. So he asked for some meat between two slices of bread. Eureka!

To start off the delicious mojo from sandwiches, we turn to the staple of any good deli: the Turkey Club.


Seeing a turkey club on a menu is always a comfort, as it is one of the few food items that seems nearly impossible to screw up. You have to try really hard to make a bad turkey club (I'm looking at you, sun dried tomatoes). It is this very quality from which Turkey Club gets its mojo. Sometimes the secret to success isn't experimentation or innovation, it's taking what you do best and doing it well.

To participate in today's mojo from home is simple, just go to your favorite local sandwich maker and order yourself a delicious turkey club. Mine is Chicken Lou's located on Forsyth street in Boston on Northeastern University's campus. For bonus mojo have an extra sandwich... eating contest. Sandwich mojo: delicious and nutricious!

Monday, July 25, 2005

**MOJO** - Cutest Mojo Ever! Day 1


We've had plenty of manly mojo lately. Now it's time for mojo to warm your hearts with the most adorable mojo ever captured by the human eye.

Today's mojo is brought to you by PUPPIES!






Wow, I think I just gave myself diabetes that was so sugary sweet. Stare and be helpless against the cutest puppies you've ever seen. We all know that Tampa Bay will be just as stunned at the combined power of so many cute puppies.

If you would like to participate in today's mojo from home, fawn over your puppy (or puppy at heart) until both of you are exhausted from the overpowering cuteness. If you dare, you can even use blubbering baby talk for bonus mojo. It can be embarrassing, but if I had to choose between my dignity and a win versus Tampa Bay, I'm choosing the win every time.



(he's too cute when he's sleeping)

Sunday, July 24, 2005

**MOJO** - Trucks Day 2

Once again, it is time to flip the switch. Today, the Sox ride in to Chicago hoping to take 3 of 4 from the team with the best record in baseball. But they aren't riding in on any old sissy truck. They're loading into the biggest truck around, and they're doing it style.



That truck is 278 tons of hauling machine. It can carry another 380 tons of material in its bed. Just one of the wheels weighs 4 tons. They simply don't come any bigger than this bad boy. And if I were the White Sox, I wouldn't want to get in its way. Something bad is liable to happen.
















Here's hoping that the Red Sox offense rolls over Jose Contreras with little after thought to the wake of destruction in their path. And of course, a machine of this kind of power needs regular maintenance, and thankfully the Red Sox have just the guy to do it.



If you'd like to participate from home in today's mojo, only converse in "Trucker Speak". "Breaker breaker, 1-9 we've got Smokeys up and down the big road watching the hammer lane, watch out for that bear in the air, come back." OK, I'll admit, I have no idea what I just said. For extra mojo (and if you enjoy being slapped) be like Sisqo and compliment your lady of choice, telling her that she's got "dumps like a truck, truck, truck".

Saturday, July 23, 2005

**MOJO** - Trucks Day 1

Today's mojo was inspired by the greatest arm child custody battle/arm wrestling movie of all time: "Over the Top".

Lincoln Hawk: I just turn my hat around like this, and it's like I'm flipping a switch. I feel like... I feel like a truck.



It's time for the Red Sox to flip the switch against old nemesis Orlando Hernandez. And what better truck to start things off than the biggest and baddest of all trucks: Big Foot.



It's time for some car stomping, bus jumping, ass kicking, fuel injected mojo that only monster trucks can deliver. Here's to the Red Sox offense running down El Duque like a runaway truck. And don't feel like Wade Miller will be left out of the truck mojo fun, he gets a truck all his own:



If you'd like to participate from home in today's mojo, break out the trucker hat and wear it with pride. Bonus points for you if it has an off color saying on it like "Ass, Cash or Grass: Nobody Rides for Free." Mullet hanging out the back is optional.

Friday, July 22, 2005

**MOJO** - Tony Day 4

Wakefield gets the start tonight against Jon Garland. What Jon doesn't realize, however, is that he isn't just facing starting pitcher Tim Wakefield, he's facing award winning starting pitcher Tim Wakefield!


It's Tony Award mojo today, and Wakes (and the Red Sox) has been the recipient of several this season.
  • Best Choreography/Dance: "Scoring from First in Chicago" - Tim Wakefield.
  • Best Musical: "Knuckling up!" - produced by Tim Wakefield
  • Best Actor - Musical: Tim Wakefield - "Knuckling up!" (the part of Tim Knuckfield)
  • Regional Theater: "Our Town", Wakefield, MA
  • Best Revival - Musical: "The Closer" - produced by Curt Schilling
  • Best Revival - One Man Show: "An Evening with Older Dude" - John Olerud
  • Best Orchestration: Theo Epstein - "My Roster and Me"
  • Best Score: Manny Ramirez - "Sucks to be Joe Crede"

Prepare to see the knuckler dance it's way to another victory behind another gem thrown by Tim "Jazz Hands" Wakefield.

If you want to participate from home in today's mojo, anytime someone delivers you something, accept it weeping and go into an extended thank you speech. Whether it be an award for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence, or some copies you had an intern get for you.

A Day at Fenway

I spent my Wednesday afternoon calling into work and spending the day at Fenway. The game was fantastic, with the Red Sox scoring 6 times in the first and never looking back. Got to see a little of everything, most notably the Red Sox debut of Tony Graffanino as well as the return of Adam Hyzdu. Seemed everyone was having a nice day at the plate today, even Millar had himself a couple of hits.

The only person not having a good time was the gentleman sitting next to me. He was a NYY fan "scouting for center fielders". Of course, he was also wearing a brand new Sox hat, for he made the mistake of betting on the Yankees in last years ALCS. He was a nice enough guy though, and we had a lengthy conversation about Cabrera and Bernie's troubles out in center this year. It also turned out that he and his friend had the same alma mater (Villanova) as the elderly gentleman in front of us, albeit in classes 40 years apart. The two friends started a new bet during the game regarding Matt Clement, the loser of which will be forced to wear a custom jersey of the opponents team. Should Clement win 17 this season, be looking for the unhappy guy in the Sox jersey with the name "One Day Only" on the back at Fenway next season.

This game also featured the batted ball which came closest to me in my lifetime. Johnny's HR landed only 15 feet to my left in the aisleway (my seat was in the last row of the lower box). Had it come over my head, I would have made the layout bid. This replaces the game in 1996 when a foul ball went over my head in the seats along the right field foul line. This did give me a faceful of Jose Canseco, however.

I only have one regret: that a peanut guy didn't make his way into my section during the later innings. I really wanted to see how accurate they were with those peanuts, so I was going to buy a bag for someone in the upper section to see if he could hit them. Specifically, I was hoping for someone on the cell phone, as my brother and I were willing to pay him double if he could knock the phone out of their hands. That would be a memory to cherish forever.

The following are some pictures I took during the trip. I'll omit the ones which consist of "see those blurry 14 pixels? That's David Ortiz".


Our seats had were located right below my favorite giant numbers in the city. I ended up going home with a Fisk jersey shirt (New Hampshire love, and all). Of course, I also got a Wakefield one. My brother opted for the red Johnny Damon. I tried to talk him into the one with the pink lettering, but it was a no go.


The scoreboard for Graffanino's first Red Sox at bat. What made me particularly happy was as he was coming out of the batters box, I mentioned that this was the new guy coming up to the plate. The guy in front of me (who was there with his two very attractive daughters) asked if I knew anything about him, to which I responded to a short synopsis of his playing abilities, including a note that he had an OBP in the high .370s. To which he replies "oh, look at that", as the scoreboard pops up with the above screen, confirming my numbers. Made me proud to be one of the cliched "knowledgeable Fenway Faithful". If only the cute girls got totally hot for statistics (which they almost certainly never do). Also, there was a nice moment when Graffanino (who really needs a nickname) hit his RBI double and Fenway gave him a standing ovation.


I swear, there's a kid somewhere in there. And I am totally jealous of his hat.


I've been hearing radio advertisements about the new powerade bottle that's "so comfortable" that you just have to hold it to understand. I naturally thought that the claim must be total bullshit. Well, I can now tell you that it is not, and that this was the most comfortable bottle I have ever held. Kudos to you, Powerade! And speaking of beverages....


Is there anything sadder than a Guinness stand with no attendant? I nearly wept right there in the concourse.


And finally, here's something I never thought I'd see in Fenway: a replica Clemens jersey. It looked new too, he must have ordered it special. I don't know if this means he is just a huge Clemens fan, or a total d-bag... or both. It's a real toss-up.

I had an absolutely fantastic time at the park, and would like to thank Empyreal's boss for creating the opportunity for me to go.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

**MOJO** - Tony Day 3



Simple mojo today. I'd rather think of Tony Conigliaro as he is above instead of with the ugly shiner on the famous SI cover. He was just a kid from Revere when he made his debut for the Red Sox. Maybe that's why he is so popular, even today 30 years since he last stepped onto a baseball field, he got to live the dream that so many of us have.

It's Tony C mojo today. We'll always be jealous that it isn't us out there, so remember how blessed you are to where the uniform and go out and enjoy it.

(Special thanks to SSA for today's mojo.)

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

**MOJO** - Tony Day 2

The Red Sox: they're grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!



Today's Tony is none other than that Kellogg's aficionado Tony the Tiger. He has many things in common with today's starter David Wells. He's large, loud, quick to offer opinions (seriously Tony, we know you like Frosted Flakes, you've been telling us for years), and perhaps most striking, his favorite foods are the ones that come coated in sugar. Frosted Flakes were one of my favorite cereals growing up, and can be a part of this balanced breakfast:

Hoooray! Visual Puns!

Fun fact: Tony's signature tagline "they're grrrreat" was recorded in 1952, the same year David Wells made his major league debut! I kid, I actually like David Wells (all though I refuse to call him "Boomer"). I apparently am not alone, as last week I saw a guy wearing a David Wells numbered tee.... with the number "30" on it. He must have bought it in the few weeks after David Wells signed, but before Matt Clement did when Wells relinquished the number to take his favorite of "3". To me, seeing a David Wells #30 jersey is like seeing a US flag with only 47 stars on it, fabricated in the one month between New Mexico and Arizona's entry into the union.

Here's to Tony the Tiger leading the Sox to a series win against the Devil Rays.



If you would like to participate from home in today's mojo, eat Frosted Flakes until you get physically ill. Perhaps you could organize a competitive eating contest amongst friends and family members. I myself will not be participating from home, but instead from Fenway Park, as thanks to Empyreal I have the opportunity to attend my first (and long overdue) game of the season. If memory serves me correctly, I'm 9-4 at Fenway lifetime.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

**MOJO** - Tony Day 1

With the Sox new acquisition today of Tony Graffanino, it seemed fitting. And lately, it seems like the Sox could use a little extra direction. A little guidance from the Boss.

But.. Who's the Boss?



With Theo doing a little cleaning of his own, Embree on the way out, Hyzdu coming back in and who knows what else on the horizon, who better to right the ship than your favorite and mine: Tony Danza. Not limited to just the lovable housekeeper named Tony, Mr. Danza has also made famous the lovable taxi driver named Tony from "Taxi", the lovable policeman named Tony in the short lived "Hudson Street", the lovable everyday family man/sports writer named Tony in the aptly titled "The Tony Danza Show", and naturally he has moved on to have his own talk show which he hosts as a man improbably named Tony.

Here's to our new Tony having a positive impact both on the field and in the clubhouse. May Tony's everywhere rejoice in being the inspiration for new mojo.

If you would like to participate from home in today's mojo, find the nearest Tony you know, give him a firm handshake, maybe a brief manhug if appropriate, and a crisp new one dollar bill. Nothing makes a Tony smile quite like a one dollar bill, and the karma from making a Tony happy will surely trickle down to Fenway Park.

Monday, July 18, 2005

**MOJO** - Slackers Day 1

Why slacker mojo? ...... meh

Actually, there is a lesson in slacker mojo, and it's that even those that underacheive can still reach greatness. Perhaps the poster boys for such lofty goals are today's source of mojo.

He's Bill S. Preston, Esq. He's Ted "Theodore" Logan. And together, they're WYLD STALLYNS!!



They may be two late 80's slacker kids from San Dimas, yet they managed to change the world with their totally rockin' music. And all they had to do was travel through time to assemble some of the greatest figures in world history to plagiarise a history report for them (seriously, did they do any actual research?).

These two slackers managed to be the inspiration for a utopian society, all we ask of the Red Sox is to defeat Tampa Bay. When put in context, we aren't even asking for that much.



If you'd like to participate from home in today's mojo, you need to remember only two things. 1) If anyone says something you agree with, in place of a verbal response, you can just play air guitar. Don't worry, they'll add in the guitar riff in post. 2) Simple. Just be excellent to each other.

In the words of the great orator Abraham Lincoln: "Party on, dudes!" San Dimas High football rules!!

Sunday, July 17, 2005

**MOJO** - Dinosaur Day 1

Today we turn to the "terrible lizards" of the ancient world for our daily mojo. Beware, dinosaurs once again roam the earth, and they want only one thing: Sox victories.

Our first dinosaur is none other than the terrible king of lizards, the Tyrannosaurus Rex.



T-Rex means one thing to most people: Power. Crushing blows, terrific bite strength, sharp claws, the T-rex is clearly a beast to be feared. And while a nice power display with some fireworks shooting off the bats off the offense is certainly a nice way to win, T-rex brings so much more to the table fundamentally.

While clearly of imposing size, the T-rex does have one... inadequate feature: his arms. T-rexes would grow to about 20 feet tall and 40 feet long, however his arms were a mere 3 feet each, making it difficult for him to cover the gigantic strike zone his bulk would surely generate. However, given this small (but swift) arm structure, his ability to position his body to cover the plate, and his gigantic length which allow him to take the trip from the batter box to first base in only a few strides gives T-rex an ability that most would not consider: he is an excellent bunter. While his weak arm may make him a liability in the field, his stretch is considerably longer than most players, making him an ideal first baseman. Power, speed and adequate defense.... forget Kevin Millar, lets sign a T-rex to be our first baseman. Of course, Olderdude can still come in at the 7th for defensive purposes.

If you would like to participate in today's mojo form home, stomp around your house all day pretending you are a T-rex, much like that adorable 6 year old Calvin.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

**MOJO** - Colors Day 2

We continue the wonderful collage of color with another one close to the Sox: Green



Much like "red", "green" is another important color to the Red Sox.





However, the direct links are boring, mojo is all about the little details. Other ways that green will help propel Boston to it's second straight victory.



Leprechauns bring the Luck of the Irish, as well as the tasty Lucky Charms that were so helpful yesterday. Much of the success in the game of baseball is dependent on simple good fortune, and who better than these pint-sized Irishmen to help bring it to Fenway.



It ain't easy being green. But somehow, this lovable frog has been one of the most popular amphibians in Hollywood for decades. Even today, he is still bringing home the bacon (**wink**). Sometimes, it isn't so easy playing in Boston either, but persevere like Kermit and you too will find your own proverbial (or even literal) pig to love you.



This one is for Matt Clement, and it has nothing to do with his paycheck. Clement didn't get a whole lot of attention prior to this season, but that doesn't mean he didn't deserve some. To steal a line from Swingers, "You're so money, and you don't even know it."



Finally, some nice green grass, for what else: great fielding. It's the long ball that makes the ladies swoon, but its slick fielding that feeds the soul. Here's hoping we get to see some web gems turned in by the Sox in today's game.

Break out the St. Patrick's Day gear in celebration of today's mojo. Sit back and enjoy a fenway frank with some green ketchup and maybe some relish, a crisp dill pickle, a fresh salad, maybe a twist of lime with your cocktail of choice. It's green mojo today, and you know the New York fans will be jealous they don't get to join in on the fun.

Friday, July 15, 2005

**MOJO** - Colors Day 1

For the new mojo, we turn to the spectrum of color. And the first color is a pretty easy one to guess.



Red. There are plenty of ways the color Red affects the Sox. There are the obvious ones:





However, mojo is also a subtle thing. So here are some of the more abstract ways Red can help the red sox get a victory tonight.



The bullpen has been struggling (again), so a little help putting out those fires with men on base I think is in order.



Redheads. I wanted to post an image of the redheaded ball girl the Sox employ, but apparently even the internet has limits. But with redheads normally associated with Ireland, the Sox could use a little "Luck of the Irish". Speaking of which...



Red balloons are a staple of any balanced breakfast. Well, a breakfast that has been balanced by magic, anyway.



How about a little spice to perk up the offense. These little bad boys should do just the trick to get the offense in gear. And given not only the Red Sox blue collar reputation, but also our choice of starting pitcher for the day, I think a little red meat mojo is in order as well:



Help with today's mojo by getting your own 72 ounce steak in only 72 hours here. Make sure to wear red, have a meal with red meat and a side of red potatoes, wash that down with a Killian's Irish Red, or maybe a Strawberry or Raspberry margarita. Making sure you "read" this was a pretty good start.