Friday, September 09, 2005

**MOJO** - States Day 1

Get out Old Glory, it's time for some good old fashioned patriotism with mojo honoring the 50 states. And what better state to start it off than the home state of David Wells, today's starter for the Red Sox: California.

There are many defining characteristics of California of which mojo can be derived. First of all: there is a grizzly bear prominently featured on their state flag. How can you deny the snazzy of that?

Secondly, California is the most populous state in the union. In fact, one out of every 8 Americans lives in California. Look for contributions from the entire ball club to pull out a win in today's game. The Yankees are always a tough club, but the Red Sox will find strength in numbers.

Thirdly, California was quickly settled after the discovery of gold in 1849, sparking the gold rush. It will be up to the Red Sox to quickly rush Aaron Small should he slip up, and pile on the hits before he knows what's what. Small has seen some success since joining the New York rotation, but I know a secret which will help the Red Sox in facing him: [whispers] he's Aaron Small!

Fourthly, the state is well known for its above average amount of seismic activity. This is for David Wells and his excellent curve. Lets see his breaking stuff drop of the table and shake the hitters right out of their rhythm.

Lastly, it is home to teen heartthrobs galore:

Now normally this wouldn't necessarily be particularly powerful mojo, but the Boston Red Sox are not your normal team. How many tea's have as many bonafide heartthrobs as the Red Sox? Johnny Damon, Jason Varitek, Bronson Arroyo... just saying their names are likely to make the ladies swoon. Even grown men are attempting to defy science in order to be closer to the objects of their affection. If that's not mojo, than frankly I'm in the wrong business because apparently I don't know what mojo is.

In fact, if you would like to participate from home in today's mojo, pull out your favorite hunky picture of your player of choice and just fawn over it for a while. Maybe practice writing out "Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Youkilis" a few hundred times in your notebook. I know I'll be scrawling my fair share of "NU+DO BFF 4-EVA!!!"


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