Thursday, July 07, 2005

Curt Schilling: Closer

**gasp** A post that isn't mojo! Too bad suckers, it's still about the Red Sox.

Curt Schilling's return from the DL is immanent, and it sounds like he will be the much needed addition to Boston's beleaguered bullpen. With Foulke's knee giving him a trip to the DL of his own, it looks like Curt will fill in as closer for the time being. And that raises a question first asked (or at least, first seen by me) on the Royal Rooters message board: if Curt becomes closer, what will he use for an entrance theme?

One man's suggestions, in no particular order:
  • Pharoah Monch - "Simon Says": Hip-Hop isn't really Curt's style, but this entrance would be too sweet to ignore. It uses the Godzilla theme for it's sample, and the beat is down right filthy. Might not be as family friendly as Fenway aims to be (after all, the first lyric is "Get the fuck up!/ Simon Says get the fuck up!"), and Curt may not approve of Pharoah Monch's suggestion that girls "rub on their titties", but I stand by my suggestion that it would be too damn awesome to rule out.
  • House of Pain - "Jump Around": Big Papi uses a song that samples this for his AB music, and it always makes me want to hear the original. Plus, it seems that it was a requirement for my generation to learn all the lyrics to this song. I had the class between Biology 101 and Phys Ed back in high school. "Pack it up, pack it in. Let me begin. I came to win. Battle me? That's a sin..."
  • Air Supply - "All Out of Love": Just seeing if you are paying attention.
  • Beastie Boys - "Sabotage": This one really shouldn't need any explanation.
  • Disturbed - "Down With the Sickness": Starts with a different feel than most songs, as it is just the drum kicks, while most songs choose to start with the ol' "face melter" guitar riff. Also, lead singer David Draiman has a way of making total gibberish become compelling lyrical content. "Ohhh wah-ah-ah-ah!"
  • Europe - "The Final Countdown": Best. Synth. Ever.
  • Godsmack - "Whatever": Godsmack is from the Boston area, and this song is one of my favorites of theirs. I almost went with "Bad Religion" here instead, but I couldn't make up my mind on if the fact that is literally only one chord was a hindrance or not.
  • James Brown - "Sex Machine": Because if he becomes an elite closer out of the pen, adding that into everything else he's done since coming to Boston, he won't be able to walk down the street without women humping him. I myself might have a hard time resisting it. "Get on up!"
  • Rage Against the Machine - "Wake Up": Few bands can recreate the raw energy that Rage Against the Machine can. This is one of their better tracks, and would make a fine entrance theme.
  • John Lee Hooker - "I'm Bad Like Jesse James": I like this idea because it takes what every other closer chooses and goes the other way with it. Other guys use Metallica, or AC/DC, or Guns N' Roses, because these bands rock your damn face off. Which is all well and good. But John Lee Hooker can take his guitar and his low rumbling voice and not only sound like a badass, but can sound so cool doing it.
  • Radiohead - "The National Anthem": Another song with a different feel than the "gut-busting power solos" which make for the normal closer intro. It's much quieter than one would normally want for an entrance theme, but something about it just makes my adrenaline start pumping. It is also quite possible that this applies to no one but myself.
  • Tenacious D - "Rock Your Socks Off": 1-2-3-4-5-6-6-6. Do count-offs get better than that? The lyrics can even be used to describe the very nature of closer's and the save statistic: "It doesn't matter if it is good. / It only matters if it rocks." And you can never (ever) go wrong with the D.
  • Bon Jovi - "Runaway": Not the whole song. Just the first 30 seconds or so on repeat. Just listen and you'll know what I'm talking about.
  • Dropkick Murphys - "For Boston": I know, I know. Dropkick and the Boston Red Sox was done to death last year with "Tessie". But "For Boston" is a great remake of an old ode to the city of Boston. It would work great for an entrance theme for the Sox closer. I'm sure the band could even redo the traditional "Lets Go Murphys" cheer from their concerts found at the beginning as a "Lets Go Schilling" intro.

That's all for now. If you haven't heard any of these suggestions, I would recommend picking them up from your local retail establishment, as I would never advocate downloading them off the internet as to avoid paying money (ed. note: that's exactly what I'm advocating).


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