Thursday, September 23, 2004

mojo jojo: more than just a super intelligent monkey

I consider myself a very practical person. I don’t put any faith in horoscopes. I think nothing of black cats, broken mirrors or ladders set in my path. There is no such thing as curses, hexes or voodoo. However, despite all this, I have become a firm believer in the power of “mojo”.
Mojo, simply put, is a force that you utilize to indirectly influence events around you. It can be to bring success to those you favor, or can attempt to sour the efforts of those opposed to you. Quite often, mojo works in such obscure ways, the rational mind tells you that is an impossibility that you can influence events so spuriously. Can one fan, wearing his lucky shirt and sitting in his lucky chair, will a player to hit a walk off home run? Of course not. But a million fans, all willing and hoping on their own, all doing their own rituals have an influence? A million people, simultaneously all willing at the same moment for the same thing? Maybe. I am a strong purveyor of mojo in all its forms, and I try to practice it even on a small scale. Do I think it brings me success? Not necessarily, but I’d rather hedge my bets and continue doing it anyway.
Mojo can take many forms, and if you are honest, I’ll bet you’ve participated in bringing good mojo at some point. Standing up to watch a pivotal play, whether at the stadium or in your own home. Having a certain kind of beer you drink when you watch the game. It’s all the same, whether it be the mundane, or the more obsessive. Early in the 2003 MLB Postseason, I realized that during a pivotal out the Sox bullpen needed I had sat through it as still as a statue. They got the out, and I vowed that whenever that big out was needed, I would do my part by continuing to remain as still as possible. I wouldn’t drink, or shift in my seat, just remain perfectly quiet, as if my calm would project onto the field and in turn calm our pitcher. The only time I didn’t get the chance to do it was for Tim Wakefield in Game 7 of the ALCS. So naturally, I freely take my share of the responsibility for the loss. Mojo doesn’t have to be so, shall we say, ridiculous. Here are some of the more common ones, as well as the ones I like the most:

· Never talk about a no-hitter as its happening: This one goes right up to the big leagues. It’s an unwritten rule in baseball, and it just goes to show how mojo is even recognized on the big stage.
· Hot Chick Mojo: Also known as “Not Safe For Work” mojo. Always a powerful, as well as a popular form of mojo, especially on internet message boards. It has plenty of varieties – French/Italian, Spanish, British, or my personal favorite, Hometown Girls.
· Playoff Beard Mojo: Helping the team? Or just an excuse to be lazy… probably a bit of both.
· Hyperbolic Away Message Mojo: I use it before every Ultimate game. Finding new and interesting ways to describe playing Ultimate in the most ridiculous fashion imaginable always manages to get me excited to get out on the field.

For those of you who still have your doubts, I present to you a hands on account: unnecessary man-crush mojo. Since my previous posting stating my fondness for Mr. Orlando Cabrera, the shortstop for the Boston Red Sox, he has had key hits in not one but two late rallies in Sox wins: One was the game-tying hit off of uber-closer Mariano Rivera on 09/17, the other was a walk-off home run on 09/22 in the twelfth inning against the Orioles. Schoolgirl crush mojo is very powerful indeed, and is to be only used sparingly. Besides, too much mojo of that sort can be.... creepy.

Of course, Frisbee Sectionals will soon be upon us, and I will be in attendance in support of my local Gentlemen. The question is which is more powerful: white-guy afro mojo? Or consummate professional mojo?

-- Hawaii out

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