Wednesday, July 09, 2003

if only she had junk i could pummell

I went to the Summer Sanitarium tour this past weekend. Metallica kicked my ass, it was great. However, it allowed me to witness perhaps the most interesting sociological event I've ever seen: a woman flashing her tits too much.

Let's paint the scene for you: It was before Metallica's set, so the sun was not yet gone and the crowd had half an hour to kill. This older woman wearing a bandana and a ratty white tank top gets up on her mans shoulders and starts rubbing her tits around, and the crowd starts to chant for her. Much to their delight, out was whipped the older, sagging titties with a big tattoo down the left one. The crowd cheered, a good time had by all.

Then, she flashes again: the crowd cheers again. Now she is just leaving them out, and mashing them around with her hands. The crowd now becomes disinterested, and she returns to the crowd and anonymity. Oh if only this was the end of it. A few minutes later she is flashing and rubbing her tits again, however now no one is cheering her on. This doesn't stop her though. She continually rubs her sagging tits to no ones delight but her own. After several more minutes of this, the crowd actually begins to boo this woman for showing her tits. She again disappears, however is back again not five minutes later resuming her act, to more jeers and boos. At this point an attractive young girl behind me gets up on her friends shoulders and flashes her own tits shouting "These ones don't sag, honey!" Inexplicably, this causes the rather unattractive older woman to begin licking her own nipples.

Taking another short break, she is back again a few minutes later, however the crowd is no longer content at just booing this woman, and begin throwing garbage at her. Empty water bottles and beer cups are careening off of this woman, and she still insists on flashing her unappealing chest. You would think that taking a bottle upside the head would settle your exhibitionism, but apparently not. In sheer frustration, a young man removed his own t-shirt and threw it at her shouting "Put it on!" Confused, this woman dropped the t-shirt into the crowd and flashed the young man her tits, grinding them on her chest with her hands.
Amazingly, this woman continued to flash the crowd for another 15 to 20 minutes, the entire time being pelted with garbage by the crowd. Never in my life have I seen someone so incapable of taking a hint. Can someone please provide insight into what in the blue hell was going through this woman's mind that didn't allow her to keep her tits in her ugly ass tank top?

-- Hawaii out


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